AFS: 7 Minutes in Heaven
by AkatsukiStalkers-RebelQueens
Summary: Akatsuki Flirtatious Series: a series of fun-time Akatsuki and a random, original OC. from Truth or Dare, to Spin the bottle, the AFS series covers them all. this story? oh, my friends, my readers, this story is for '7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN! all akatsuki included ! ;-) author: Alex, Neko


**AFS: 7 Minutes In Heaven**

_**Zetsu**_

…

Neko: so, the AFS, or the Akatsuki Flirtious Series. Inspired by how I was bored and taking Akatsuki Quizzes on my computer, and there were those good ones with little stories on what happened on your Akatsuki first date. I recently made a quiz myself on Akatsuki Truth or Dare. And so I realized, "hey, I like writing all these one shot Akatsuki things" and I also like party game genres like Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle. Thus, the AFS was born. This story is Akatsuki: 7 minutes in heaven. This chapter, which is my first of the books to come, is Zetsu~! Lastly, like one of those quizzes did, I'm going to make a new character every one shot. Have fun~!

…

_Character Name: Ukamki_

_Short, mid neck sun bleached red hair, smooth and thick. A green, emerald left eye, a deep sea blue right eye. Rather short and unsized, with neither much fat, nor much visible muscle. B-cup, and small curves. Mistaken to be a little younger than in truth._

…

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"_Please?_"

"No."

"_PLEASE?_"

"No!"

"PLEASE, Ukamki—sempai?!"

She sighed dramatically, "Fine, Tobi." Ukamki ran a hand through her hair with a sigh when Tobi took the other, dragging her away from the cozy bedroom to the living room, where sure enough Tobi had gathered the entire Akatsuki.

"Tobi got Ukamki-sempai to play!" he cheered loudly, shoving the red head toward the couch where she just chuckled, smiling the slightest at Tobi's enthusiasm. She pulled off the heavy Akatsuki cloak and tossed it over the back of the couch, plopping down onto the cushion between a bored looking Sasori and blank faced Itachi.

"Tobi, do tell, how do you play 7 minutes in heaven with 9 boys, and one girl?" Ukamki asked curiously, noting Pein and Konan were still away on their solo mission.

Tobi paused, and looked around at the irritated faces around him that had already thought of this dilemma.

"Uh…" Tobi scratched his head, confused.

Ukamki giggled again at the confused boy. "I don't know, Tobi, I don't think anyone wants to get locked in a closet with any other guy."

Tobi pouted at all the agreeing grunts, kicking at the carpet. "We could play one round with Ukamki-sempai… or more with Ukamki-sempai…"

The two-eyed girl blushed, "uh, no, Tobi, I don't think so."

She could practically see the puppy dog eyes- er, eye- through the swirling orange mask, and she resisted for quite a time before sighing dramatically. "One round… 7 minutes only. If I want out, I get out, okay?" she said quickly, and Tobi nodded rapidly, grinning.

The boy produced a bottle, and as he scrambled toward the middle of the circle, Ukamki silently cursed being soft for Tobi. She knew he couldn't be as sweet as he pretended, but he was still compassionate and adorable and thoughtful, and once in a while protective.

Tobi quickly spun the glass item, empty of its contents and looked like a beer bottle… she silently wondered if she had ever seen Tobi drunk on Akatsuki parties… hell, she'd never seen him drink let alone get drunk.

"You win!" Tobi squealed, watching the bottle stop, before he actually looked up to follow the nozzle. "Zetsu-Sempai wins~!"

Ukamki parted her lips with a breath of shock, a wild blush spreading across her cheeks. "Oh… uh… okay…" she murmured, standing up a little shakily, then Tobi escorted her- more like carried her- to the closet. Zetsu followed, hesitating at the doorway, but when it closed behind him all she could see in the pitch blackness was glowing yellow eyes.

"Eh… h-hi, Zetsu-san." She greeted awkwardly through the darkness, standing on the wall to his right.

"Ukamki-san… hope this isn't too… inconvenient." His lighter, polite voice answered, shifting to the left wall across from her.

The room went quite again, and she shifted on her feet awkwardly. "7 minutes… wanna talk or something?" she asked shyly, not really certain what to do here.

She heard him start to say something after a moment, before there was a knock on the door. "Kami-chan, Zetsu! We just realized you are both new to this game, un! You can't come out without a kiss!"

"Dei-kun, what the heck?!" Ukamki chirped nervously, "stop lying!"

"Sorry, Kami-chan. But that IS the rule." Came another voice, and she could hear the smirk in the tone.

"PEIN-KUN, WHEN DID YOU GET HOME?!" She called, surprised. "And that's not a rule!"

"We'll start your time over, yeah!" Deidara called in again.

"Have fun. Don't get eaten." Pein answered.

Ukamki swallowed nervously. So… locked in a dark closet… with a cannibal, a bipolar cannibal. And she couldn't get out until she kissed him.

"TOBI! OPEN THE DOOR!" she squealed, wincing at how squeaky and scared her voice sounded as she scrambled toward the door, pressing on it with both hands, leaning her ear to it. "You promised!"

"Tobi's trying, Kami-sempai but Hidan-sempai won't let Tobi!" he squealed in his high pitched voice.

Ukamki stared at the door. She had no words. Deathly quiet, she padded back to her spot on the other side of the closet.

"I apologize." Zetsu sighed quietly.

Ukamki ran her hand through her hair, mussing the reddish strands. "No, Zetsu, it my fault getting you locked in here by agreeing to this. I'm just a sucker for Tobi."

"**Hidan was going to drag you in if you didn't agree.**" Darker Zetsu informed, speaking for the first time since being locked in.

Having been in Akatsuki for a little more than a year, she wasn't very surprised when a different voice cut into the conversation anymore. Of all Zetsu's traits, the fact he was basically two halves of different people didn't stick with her, more so the fact he was a cannibal.

But even so, Zetsu only ate dead people. He never killed to eat, and he never ate anyone alive. Plus, he also ate raw meats, so he didn't eat people every day. Only when a body was too important to be rid of any other way.

So really, she had neither grudge nor problem with Zetsu, nor did she ever try to avoid him. She didn't seek him out, but she didn't ignore him. She offer a wave or a smile, say hello, the basics, even if they'd only had the few, basic conversations they had had.

Come to think of it, Ukamki realized, Zetsu was the only person in Akatsuki she did refer to with 'kun', aside from Konan's 'chan'. In fact, she couldn't even really say she knew much about him. It would have been great to only have to spend the 7 minutes getting to know him…

Until Deidara ruined it. Now the pressure to have to kiss someone she barely spoke to weighed down on her shoulders, and she couldn't even find courage to look at him when talking.

So it wasn't Zetsu, personally, who made her scared. It was the fact that Ukamki knew him the least of Akatsuki. Even less so then most of the people she hadn't seen in a year back in Suna, and she wasn't all too fond of them even when she was living there.

And as she contemplated all of these thoughts, Zetsu continued to stare her way. Trying to figure out what Ukamki was thinking. Luckily, he had excellent night vision as opposed to the girl's mild view in the dark closet. He couldn't see too much detail. But he could almost taste the fear rolling wave after wave, seasoned with nervousness and uncertainty.

He honestly didn't need to read minds to know she was regretting the whole situation. But clearly Ukamki was thinking heavily, the thoughtful look playing in her two-colored eyes. Was she planning how to get out of the? How to punish the others when she got out? How to avoid kissing a freak?

Zetsu was not overly depressed about his looks. Neither personality. However, he was very aware of the facts. He was aware he would most likely never find someone who wasn't blind who even liked him. He was aware his double-personality scarred even a lot of Akatsuki, thus they avoided him often. And he well aware that this girl would most likely regret anything that happened in this closet and never speak nor think about it ever again. Yes, these facts both annoyed and depressed him. But he would never cry over these facts, never show the fact he was self consciences. He was not an emotional person.

So as irritated and sad as Zetsu was that Ukamki cleanly displayed such open fear- both because no one likes people to think of them as such, and because she could be so clean with her emotions while his were smashed in a box and buried to be deciphered later- he displayed not emotion, nor made a move to speak.

Ukamki seemed to come to a resolve, and looked at Zetsu with determined eyes. One brow rose on his face, wondering what she had thought up.

"Okay, Zetsu-san. Since we clearly don't know each other well, I propose we ignore them and merely just learn about each other, ne?" she asked in a cheerful, sing-song tune. "if you don't mind being in here a little bit longer than 7 minutes, then we will emerge with anew friend, rub it in their face that they lost, and tada, happy day~!"

Zetsu had to admit, he admired Ukamki's optimism. And, she was right; Pein wouldn't let them keep the pair inside the closet forever. So it was just a matter of waiting and not giving in.

"agreeable." He answered, though awkwardly wondering what he should… well, do. He was not a boy of many friends, nor did he have a clue how to make one.

He watched Ukamki tap her chin in the dark, "ok, Zetsu-san. Let's start with basics… what's your favorite color?"

"…pink." He answered after a moment, then chimed in again with "**purple.**"

"Ahhhh, interesting. Pink and purple, hehe."

"**And yours is.**"

"Ah, mines silver." (A/n Neko: *cough* author's favorite *couch*)

"… Tobi said it was orange…"

"No, Tobi made me a present, and when he asked what i liked about it, all I could say was 'oh, its orange… I like orange'."

"What was it?"

"Heh, he gave me an orange spider doll."

"**Weird…**"

"Especially when he named it for me when I didn't have any ideas. He called it Mr. Snowflake Princess…"

"Uh… wow…"

There was a light giggle. "Hmm. Got a hobby?"

"**Gardening**."

"Not surprising."

"… and poetry…"

"Ah, see, that's something didn't know about you!"

"… Do you have a hobby…?"

"Hmm… sketching… I guess I like academic stuff like space and constellations."

"**Astrology.**" He corrected.

"Yeah, that's it. Oh, and horoscopes, I love to read those. What are you, Zetsu?"

"I don't have a birthday…"

"Oh?"

"**I don't know it. I'm an orphan.**"

"Okay then. Let's see… what's your favorite food?"

"…" he did not answer, forcing the room quite. What a mood killer to say 'chewy people.'

Ukamki took the silence in, and she realized what she had asked. Ah, geeze, well that ruined Zetsu's talkative mood… he was just starting to get into the conversation… the red haired girl sighed, slapping a palm to her head. "Sorry, Zetsu-kun, I had forgotten. I didn't mean to make it awkward.

He started to ask himself how she could possibly forget such an unsettling fact… but then recalled his name in her sentence. Was she aware of her error? That she called him Zetsu-kun? "**…no… problem…**" he answered slowly, hesitantly, contemplating her mistake.

Unaware of the fact the name usage had even mildly affected him, she silenced, thinking his slow response was a sign of reluctance to speak to her further. She checked her watch, just managing to make out that she had been in here for 6 minutes now. As she watched the next ten seconds spin by in silence- Zetsu still thinking of the suffix and nothing much more in his own corner- the door parted, and a blonde head poked in.

"Kiss yet, un?" he asked. Deidara figured it out for himself, and then smirked at Ukamki. "Pein says we don't ever have to let you out. So that plan you so graciously said out loud won't work, hmm. All you have to do is kiss, un, and I'll check again in 7 minutes~!"

"Deidara!" she shouted in indignation, scrambling for the door as soon as he closed it. "Gah, you're not getting a Christmas present this year!"

"Awww you're such a poor sport, yeah!" he called back, whining, but then more seriously he added, "You're not coming out, it's the rule."

Suddenly nervous again, she stared at the wooden object obscuring her path to freedom. Normally she would just pound it down. But Kakuzu- tired of paying for repairs- and Pein- for security reasons- ad made all walls, ceiling, and floors into a substance they could break, the doors and walls would also suck away chakra if attacked.

Ukamki sighed miserably, leaning turning to lean against the door with her back, letting her head thump onto the wood. At such point it was pointless to retreat to her half of the room, considering both their personal bubbles would have to be invaded in order to escape the damn closet.

After a deep breath, slowly she turned her head to Zetsu, pursing her lips. At a closer distance, she could see much more than just his glowing eyes, shining like two suns though casting no light despite their odd, faint glow. He was staring back at her, scanning her face, a faint frown over his mouth on both sides. If it hadn't been dark, Ukamki would have seen a faint pink shadowing his face. But it was dark, and all she could see was a big frown- Zetsu had no interest in any of this.

…that was more or less… not true. He had a small amount of interest in something of the sort; he wouldn't mind a kiss…

And that sentence that Zetsu admitted in his head, would actually translate to: he REALLY would like one.

Ukamki was a shy person. However, contrary to popular belief- Zetsu was not. He had self respect. But Zetsu was not shy.

Nor was he hesitant. Justifying to himself it was just to get out of the closet, Zetsu took hold of both her arms, pulled her off the door, and pulled Ukamki toward him, connecting their lips.

What he had merely intended to be quick, to just get a hint yet still be able to get out of the closet, he found himself unwilling to pull away. yet there was no response. And Zetsu did something he had never done since he had joined Akatsuki: he reacted on those emotions. He reacted on the fear, and the desperation. The rosette did not even move, and he squeezed her upper arms tighter, forcefully trying to get some sort of reaction.

Unknown to him, at first she had not moved only because of surprise. Literally; she had been stunned, frozen in shock. And before she had a chance to get over her stunned stupor, before Ukamki could even figure out what her reaction _would_ have been, Zetsu started to get more violent.

His grip on her arms were so tight, she thought he was cutting clean through her muscle and that her bones were about to snap under the painful pressure. She found herself being pressed against the wall on her side of the closet, and so hard she could already feel the purple blossoms of bruises budding over her skin, and he pressed so forcefully against her lips that she couldn't breathe, and it _hurt_.

More and more he craved a reaction, his force doubling with each moment that felt like eternity as she stood stiff in fear. And the more he pressed against her, pinned to a wall so hard that her shoulder blades ached and her arms screamed, she couldn't tell where these angry, painful pains would stop- would they stop at all? Was Zetsu going to go so far as to rape her?!

And Zetsu got his reaction. Hot, salt tears blurred in her eyes, before running down her cheeks, and the shock-stunned body started to shake, and he stopped. He separated from her immediately, pulling back as he released her, hitting the opposite wall with a hard thump.

Ukamki let out a pained gasp, breathing heavily. And almost in tune, the door cracked open. "7 minutes over!" Tobi chirped.

The orange masked boy peered in, going completely quiet. Ukamki rubbed at her eyes, taking rapid breaths to fill starved lungs, before padding out of the closet.

When Zetsu went to follow, headed for his room, he stopped.

He really was a monster.

Where he had gripped her arms, her porcelain skin was marred with a ring of ugly, black-green-purple-and-grey bruises, and the side the black hand had grabbed, the nails had dug in deep enough that blood welled up and dripped slowly down her arm. When she turned to sit on the couch, her face was white with the fear, and her lips were puffy and red like her eyes- only her lips were red from a cut, dripping dark liquid down her chin. His teeth were sharp. They must have cut her by accident. But rest of that had been direct.

Zetsu stood there, staring. The others looked at Ukamki in shock, Sasori- who acted like a father toward the girl- taking the bleeding arm in his hand, staring at it and growing dark when she winced.

Zetsu did not hesitate a second more- he turned, disappearing to his room. Her father figure and kid-brother-roommate Tobi lead her in the opposite direction, directed toward her bedroom.

No one else moved, except Deidara when he over came his shock, heading after his best friend to make sure she was okay. As he left the room, Tobi came back out of the room, standing in front of Hidan, and flat out bitch-slapped the albino. "Hidan made Tobi break his promise." Was all he said, before going back toward his shared room with the kunoichi in distress again.

The room remained in shock.

…

A month later.

…

Zetsu had not seen even a glimpse of sun bleached red hair. Not since the damn game. However, he had seen plenty of glares from Sasori, and Tobi had been following him once in a while.

No matter how many times they glared, or questioned, or demanded, he said nothing on the topic. He did not even speak to Pein. He hadn't spoken to anyone, except his orange-swirled stalker who would not leave him alone.

Misery was an understatement. It had been finally proven. Completely. There was no consolation- he was indeed a monster.

There was pretty much no way to deny it anymore. He looked like a monster. He ate people. He was a schizophrenic freak. He had no friends, and his allies avoided him- especially now. And the one girl of Akatsuki who had tried to be his friend, he sexually assaulted- to the point she had permanent marks on her arms, Tobi had told him. It was finally official: he was a monster.

And yet… he could not figure out why more than this mind shattering, stabbing pain at such a truth, he was even more heart retching depressed at what he had done to Ukamki.

He wanted to know if she was okay. He hadn't seen her even once. He wondered if she even came out of her room; he had mindlessly- ok, purposely- wandered by the closed door in hopes of catching a glimpse of her.

He never did.

Zetsu, being stalked by Ukamki's best friend-little brother-roommate Tobi, would ask if she was doing ok once in a while. Tobi would not answer the question, instead ask Zetsu something completely random.

Until, however, the Akatsuki spy finally realized Tobi's questions weren't distractions. They were aimful.

"Does Zetsu-chan have a favorite color?"

"Tobi thinks silver looks pretty, does Zetsu-chan?"

"Does Zetsu-chan like gardening?"

"Tobi wonders what his horoscope is today… what do you think, Zetsu-chan?"

"Does Zetsu-chan have a favorite food?"

"Does Zetsu-chan think Tobi would be good at Astrology?"

These stupid little questions… were either things Ukamki had asked him, or answers she had given him herself. He realized this only a heart beat after Tobi asked if he _like poetry._

She was the only person he had ever said that to- it wasn't a big-big secret… but no one had ever asked nor cared… and plus he didn't like telling people. But he had told her.

As he stared at the masked boy, Zetsu felt his shock me stunned with confusion. Why? Why had she told Tobi these things? And why did Tobi answer his questions with these memories? Now the questions only stung him….

Was that the point? Was the point to make him stop asking? A reason to make Zetsu never ask about Ukamki again?

"Tobi thinks poetry is fun. But of course, you have to remember the good parts to make pretty poetry, Zetsu-chan~!" the boy chimed, staring a little moment longer, before turning and leaving the room.

Zetsu dropped onto the bed again as Tobi closed the door to the bipolars' room. "the pretty parts." He repeated to himself, then again, "**the pretty parts…**"

That stupid game was not good poetry. It had no pretty pats.

That day was not good poetry. There were no pretty parts.

This story was not good poetry. There was no pretty part.

He was not good poetry- inside and out, he had no pretty parts.

Ukamki… she was very good poetry. She was made of so many pretty parts.

Good and Bad did not belong together- as either friends, or anything else… not that… he wanted anything else… certainly not…

Bad always hurt the Good. Whether bad lowered good's value by making good look bad. Or a bad guy hurt a good girl. Like Zetsu hurt Ukamki.

His bad poetry did not belong with her good poetry. As a poet, he knew that it was his task to cut out bad parts. The good parts stay. No more Zetsu; Ukamki deserved only good poetry.

Zetsu suddenly found that he HATED poetry now. Poetry was pointless. Who cared about rhymes?! No one did. Poetry was stupid and worthless.

he shoved all the papers, all the marvelous poetry about Ukamki he had made in his depression, shoved them off the desk and into a duffle bag harshly, taking it by the strap and storming out of his room, the floor echoing his steps through the old, empty walk ways. A single paper fluttered out, and he whirled around, jamming it back in, and continuing down the hallway in his rage.

A bunch more fluttered out at the same time, and in complete, pure fury he angrily threw the bag at the wall, scattering papers of swirled, black penmanship everywhere.

He turned around, and was met with the stunning form of a sun bleached red haired, two color eyed girl. Papers rained around her, and Ukamki blinked, reaching out her hand to catch one that drifted softly into her palm. Alarmed, he reached forward and took it from her grasp quickly, turning away, trying as hard as he could to shove the many papers into the bag again.

He didn't need to turn around, knowing from the shuffling of paper that she had picked up another one, and his progress slowed as he clenched his fist and eyes, ready and waiting for ridicule.

"Sorrow… burns… painfully…" her voice sounded scratchy, yet as sweet as he remembered it to be. "When you… react… hastily…" she stepped toward him once, "and you… can't regret… more fully…" she took one more step, just behind his no longer moving form. "the… scars that… Stick out so… vividly…" she sat on her knees beside him, holding the paper to him while looking away. "It hurts… so… horribly…"

He took the paper slowly, remembering this one from a week ago, and stuffed it into the bag, as it was the last one.

"… I'm sorry." Was all he could muster as he stood on his feet. He refused to cry. "… for all of it…"

"No. its… it's my fault for agreeing to the game… remember?" she sighed ruefully.

"But then it was my fault… **for thinking you would react any other way to something so** **repulsive.**" He answered, gripping the bag tightly. He refused to cry.

"Zetsu… don't say that…" Ukamki chirped, surprised. He never seemed to have thought about things like that before. It honestly stunned her.

"**What other truth is there to say**?" Zetsu spat at himself more than her. He _refused_ to cry.

"My truth." Ukamki murmured. "Zetsu… it had nothing to do about who you are. I'm fine with Zetsu, he was my friend…" she clenched her hands. "But… for a second there… you… you were so… so harsh… I-I was scared… a-and I didn't… didn't know where... or if… if you would stop… or if you would…" she choked, putting her hands over her face, and letting out a muffled sob.

the bag hit the floor, Zetsu suddenly in front of her on his knees, his head down, bowed in his shame. He held each of Ukamki's wrists in his own, being certain not to squeeze them as he stared at the smooth hardwood floor. "**Never.** **Never, Ukamki**." His refusal was smashed. Drops splashed onto the floor, and he had to restrain himself from squeezing her wrists, biting his lip with an intense frown. "I promise you. No."

He took one hand, pressing it to his lips, and then set them both down. Turning away and on his feet again, picking up his bag. "Im so sorry." He murmured, closing his eyes repeatedly to wipe away the needle points of more tears.

He had only taken two steps away when there was scrambling of Ukamki getting to her feet, and knew she was leaving- until they came running down the hall toward him, never taking another step in the other direction.

He glanced back in shock, before two small arms attached to him, and Ukamki buried her face in his back. She glanced up, and he looked away quickly, to hide the stains of salty water. "Stupid… I'm not letting you go off if you cry, Zetsu-kun."

She had said it again… said his name… said his name like that. The shiver that raced up his spine was repressed; instead he released a shaky breath, closing his eyes.

"… Ukamki…chan… thank you…"

She giggled the slightest, "Zetsu… you know… that was my first… first kiss…"

He went rigid immediately. "Oh… hell… no…" he muttered. He had _literally_ ruined her first kiss… then Zetsu paused. "It's only a kiss… if you kiss back."

Glad he could offer some input that meant she didn't have to owe him her first kiss, he was surprised when she bowled him over, sending papers in a storm around them from the bag in an explosion, Ukamki straddling him.

"Good. Then you better kiss back." She giggled, leaning forward. This time, he felt pure lightning at the contact.

…

"ZETSU!" the scream came from elsewhere in the house, and the bi-colored man sat up. The small child he had been playing with still hung in his arms, and he hurried off the bed of his shared room, down the hall and poking his head into the living room with the little boy.

Ukamki squabbled with a 7 year old child, who kept exclaiming angry remarks at two twins just beyond her reach, one of which smirked triumphantly, the other looking on with a sigh and an eye roll.

"Kami-chan?" he called. "**What's the trouble this time.**"

The girl with faded red haired sighed in relief at Zetsu's arrival. "Kuro is picking on his sister again." She explained.

Zetsu chuckled.

4 children.

The oldest, both 12, were the twins Kuro and Shiro. Kuro had been born first by an hour, and he had deep, pure black skin with dark blue eyes, and short dusty ginger-brown hair. He was a trouble maker, a more playful version of his darker self. Shiro was Kuro's opposite twin. Colorless, milk-white skin, almost-black green hair down to his shoulders, and green eyes. He was rather sweet, much like his mother, and very mature for his age.

Then came the 11-year-old Zehari. She had normal skin color unlike her older brothers- whom she always had a bone to pick when it came to Kuro- yet Zetsu's green hair in long, waist length, perfectly strait hair, her bangs cut short to frame her face sweetly. They wondered where Zehari had gotten her stunning eyes, which tended to go from neon-pastel pink, then fusion purple. She was a perky, lovable girl, but very out spoken and hotheaded.

Lastly, year-old child he held was Kami. He had been divided with moth colors, much to Zetsu's dislike as he worried for the boy's future in self-esteem. But like hell he would leave Kami to deal with it himself. Aside from the very memorable skin design, Kami had been born very small for his age much like his mother, and with the baby's dusty red hair also just like his mom, Kami had beautiful eyes that started out like Zetsu's yellow center, then faded into a golden brown at their edges.

Their children were handfuls and a half, but they were beautiful. All of them, head to toe, and their personalities may now have been so lovely, but they DID stick together against anyone else. They were a tight-nick family.

One of those pretty things, Zetsu had told himself not long ago. He had slowly found pretty things. Pretty things like the way he was relaxed with her. The pretty feeling she gave him that made him pretty, too. No, he wasn't turning into a sissy. But even monsters could be pretty. Heh…

Of course, through the first few months of a secret relationship, they had been very careful. The only one who had known about it was Tobi, and as Ukamki's best friend, he kept completely quite about it. Toward the end of the forth month, Tobi and Zetsu had 'traded' rooms. Zetsu had had a bigger room, so Tobi had told Pein they were swapping so that he and Ukamki could have more room since they shared. In actuality, and because no one had expected it, Zetsu and Ukamki didn't have to sneak around to meet each other anymore. Ukamki simply moved into Zetsu's.

And since no one ever visited Zetsu, they would never notice that Tobi lived in what was thought of as Zetsu's bedroom. And no one ever opened Ukamki's door because again, she was a female in a house of men and they had to knock.

And it had gone so… smoothly… until Ukamki got pregnant. And with twins… everyone would notice. So, after a really long discussion that he almost dreaded more than the incident, Ukamki left to speak to her father figure Sasori and both Pein and Konan.

Konan had by far the greatest reaction of the three. She was first to arrive at Zetsu and Ukamki's shared room, grinning wildly and congratulating. The bluenette had not heard much about the 7-m-i-h game, having returned from her mission a full month later when it had mostly blown over except with him, Ukamki, and Tobi, and Sasori.

Pein was a none-too-pleased response. After a very long, stern discussion- and only an hour after the last one with his pregnant love, at that- in which Pein made sure this was a real-deal, and that he was going to do what was right, Pein warned him to be very careful before adding with a smirk that he was glad for Zetsu.

The joyous feeling evaporated when Sasori came flying at him a few moments later. Apparently he hadn't listened to all of Ukamki's confession, and thought she was pregnant from the game, and that he had raped her in the closet.

Needless to say, the base was in shambles from Zetsu trying not to be murdered while Ukamki desperately tried to get him to listen.

It took a good few hours… but Sasori finally finished listening to the story, and thus Zetsu survived. Of course it took a long time for Sasori to stop death threatening him. About the time the twins were born, though, Sasori did give up his grudge. The puppet man was far too preoccupied with being a grandpa.

And Uncle Tobi, as Ukamki had dubbed him toward the kids, was almost like the big brother to the group of children- punching Hidan if he cursed in vicinity, stealing Kakuzu's money to buy them toys, and making cookies with Konan.

And, Tobi even helped him plan his proposal. A week after the twins were born, he had nearly shocked the life out of her while in the nursery by having the twins present the ring to her.

…needless to say she had said yes, and the night's relations led to another bundle of joy, thus Zehari. Hehe… oops? Well, the consequence was greatly loved, Zehari was Ukamki's only little girl.

They loved all four of their kids. Zetsu had all the pretty things he could want.

But he was NEVER going to play that game again.

…

…

Taadaa~?


End file.
